superscheu Uncategorized

Kid Photo Spam

Lately when I try to sleep I think about my daughter. I’ve been one of those people who is mildly disgusted at FB parents who plaster pictures of their children all over the place… It’s not that I don’t love kids, in fact I kind of enjoy kids, I always have. But I was one of the original FaceBookers. I remember when it was still “the Facebook,” and you had to have a college based email address to join.  Early Facebook for me was pictures of empty alcohol bottles to prove I wasn’t going easy on my liver, stuff we destroyed when we were bored, and hot drunk girls we destroyed…

Just more bacteria
This is like an adult version of a ball pit… just more bacteria… (Bonus! find the hot drunk girl)

Finding kids on Facebook is like running previews for The Lorax before The Dark Knight Rises or product placement for Pampers on Breaking Bad. But I get it now and I want to explain it to everyone who doesn’t get it before I forget what it’s like being on the other side.

In case you were wondering... This is a horrible idea...
In case you were wondering… This is a horrible idea…

It’s simple really. We take pictures and plaster social media with pictures that are avatars of our identity. Cat people take pictures of their cats, skydivers take awesome pictures of skydiving, Russians take pictures of endless wastelands of snow and leafless trees that somehow have grown in the 30 minute space between winters, college kids take pictures of being stupid, girls take pictures with their faces smashed together so everyone knows that they’re SUCH good friends, and douche bags post an endless stream of memes because they lack their own originality to comment on social trends in a humorous manner…

The answer is they're f*#$ing supid...
The answer is they’re f*#$ing supid…

When I feel my daughter practicing her kickboxing in my wife’s stomach though I get it. This little girl isn’t even born yet and I’ll do anything for her. And that includes taking tons of pictures of her. If you don’t like it then do what I did when I was in your shoes and unsubscribe from my feed. Obviously my child isn’t going to be that important to most of you. I’d be kind of concerned if there were random loosely acquainted people showing an unprecedented level of interest in my baby girl.

Do the Creep yo!
Do the Creep yo!

Just like I don’t really give a shit about your motorcycles, Fast & the Furious prop cars, the donut you ate for breakfast, your trip to Hawaii, incorrect English in countries that don’t speak English, and memes; I don’t expect you to care about my interests, nor do I really care. (Close friends and family not included in this of course.)

P.S. I’m a much better photographer than 90% of you. So all those pictures you post of your trips to Europe, snorkeling off the coast of Australia, depressed zoo animals, sleeping dogs, and yes your kids… just remind me of that fact mostly… was that your intention?

I took this with a fricking cell phone camera...
I took this with a fricking cell phone camera…
superscheu Uncategorized

Thinking in line(s)

From the hard-drive. I literally have no memory of writing this, so either I didn’t write it, I wrote it late at night, I was drunk when I wrote it, or I’m in a Christopher Nolan movie

Where was that again?
We’re linear things
in thought
in deed
not complex, not geomentric
we think along straight lines
sometimes breaking,
rarely bending
always never quite right
But give me something anti status quo
and why is it
that being deep and thoughtful
means thoughtlessly following the crowd
of people who say they’re deep and toughtful
when the only real thoughts they have
are worrying that others see them as going against the grain
That really grinds me.
that there’s some established way to be antiestablishment.
You’re bland.
look at you.
vacuous soldier of the thrift-store fashion
ironically not knowing what irony really is.
you’re bland you know.
look at you seeing the world so black and white,
right is right
wrong is wrong
shit you don’t understand you talk until we change the subject.
you’ve got nothing.
just like me.
you’re just like everyone else.
ironically lame.
give me some color.
color me
i don’t care what hue
how can i paint it so you understand that I don’t give a shit
superscheu Uncategorized

Life after Osama bin Laden

I have never wished a man dead but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” -Mark Twain

Barak Obama kills Osama Bin Laden; that only sounds ironic, like J.R. Tolkien is busy naming today’s historical characters.

Saruman and Sauron

Only took ten fucking years, but even though every living human is going to eventually die, sending Bin Laden off with a Navy Seal bullet through the head just has a strange poetic ring to it.

But the truth of the matter is that the world is never in short supply of stupid or crazy. We’re always fully stocked on douche bags, murders, and evil assholes. We knocked off a big one with Bin Laden’s death, but in the long run he did what he set out to accomplish. He shook up the world and even in death draws focus away from more awesome stuff like baseball and hot girls.

As I sat down and thought about it I wondered how I should react. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but watching the people in America parading around draped in stars and stripes seemed slightly off.

I think we did it wrong. How is us parading around after killing someone different from Al Queda extremists dancing around after they knocked down our two towers. Yes, they punched us first and it was a stupid move on their part, but rarely is terrorism a smart move unless it’s against a tyrannical empire that likes drinking tea. (no not China!)

This thing should have ended like the movie Shane. A couple of flash bangs, a 9mm, and the SEALs ride off into the night on their black helicopters. Well… that’s exactly what happened pretty much. But when Shane guns down Wilson and everyone else in that little saloon we never saw what happened afterwards. I guess because afterwards ruined the coolness of the film. Coolness isn’t something you can fake I guess and it’s not something that widely distributed among the masses.

We are this:

Just shows what you can do if you believe in yourself...

When we should be this:

Trust me kids, he was cool.

We’re this:

“You went full retard, man… never go full retard.” Kirk Lazarus

When we should be this:

The original space cowboy.

By celebrating the death of a single man who has been hiding for a decade we endanger ourselves. What if we’re no longer cool? What if the world starts to think we’re simpletons who believe that single death brings complete closure to wounds that will forever scar our history. What if we’ve validated Osama Bin Laden by celebrating him in anyway at all? All we should have done is nodded, smiled, and cooly said, “About time we killed that mother fucker…” before eating some non-Halal grub followed by 72 hour sex marathon.

Religious leaders are often killed off in the belief that by silencing them you silence the followers. But as with the example with the early Christian movements, persecution grows faith. The death of a figurehead can often have the opposite effect you desire.

We’re not the underdog in this story, if anything we’re Rome. And Bin Laden isn’t Jesus, he was a lying, extremist, murder who has the blood of many people from many walks of life and faith on his hands. But we were the odds on favorite to win from the get go, that’s been undisputed since WWII.

And it’s not like we win them all, but we expect to, and we often do. And when we do. We don’t have to rub it in their faces.

Because when we do…

We look like this:

Yeah, like you’re from Jersey…

Instead of this:

superscheu Uncategorized

Hello world!

I suppose I should introduce myself to this wide world populated by countless little weblings.

For the last three years I have lived in Japan.

I live in a Japanese apartment.

Pay rent with Japanese yen.

Eat Japanese food.

Have a Japanese fiancee.

Work in a Japanese school.

Watch Japanese baseball.

Drink Japanese beer.

And I’m not Japanese at all.

This blog will be updated along with my YouTube channel.  I hope you enjoy my randomness.

hot or not?
This is my good side!