#8 Imagination Dies
Hot as (fill in the blank)
- Get used to the heat. (f-that)
- Hire a scantily clad female assistant to follow me around with a palm branch. (seems reasonable)
- Force my students to construct large billows from paper-mâché and bits of their chairs and desks and then use them to create and artificial breeze wherever I go. (as long as I don’t pay them I don’t think it’d count as child labor)
- Create a semi-intelligent robot that has an industrial sized fan installed in it’s chest that also serves as a wood chipper. (the robots will obey us as long as they don’t learn to love)
- Cause another ice age (unfortunately that might be trademarked already by 20th Century Fox)
- Continuously eat ice cream (there’s no such thing as too much dairy right?)
- Have central air and heat installed in any building I plan to visit or work in or live in. (right after I have enough money to buy an xbox!)
- Cover myself with mud. (works for elephants…)
#3 The Duvet Complex
I’ve been watching the Big Bang Theory recently at the suggestion of my entrepreneurial friend Andy. The fact that he’s an entrepreneur isn’t really relevant to his taste in television shows, but it is how I choose to describe him to you. I supposed I could have picked any number of other adjectives… but he’s of average height, average weight, with brown hair and brown eyes, he’s an artistic guy, which is interesting because back when I knew him in person he wasn’t. I knew him for almost two years while I lived in this really tiny Kentucky town that’s only notable imprint in the the world is that drove all of it’s black occupants out in 1919 and then was prominently featured in a the documentary Trouble Behind. But in telling you that much information you might draw the conclusion that he’s a nondescript racist hipster, he’s not. Although he did call me “crazy gook” as some strange form of endearment on more than one occasion, but in his defense I probably overused: white, whitey, pale, and hairy translucent cracker…
So… I took a stab at the show. The premise of the show is two genius physicists and their hot Nebraskan neighbor who is less of a genius, plus two reoccurring friends, an Indian astrophysicist and a Jewish mechanical engineer with a masters from MIT. It plays upon the stereotypes that physicists are really smart, stacked with the stereotype that really smart people are nerds. It’s a kind of a beauty and the geek sort of premise where the geek wants the girl and the girl usually doesn’t understand anything the theoretical physicist says…
I like the show. I’m not an expert on string theory, but the science sounds right usually. I have caught a few errors here and there like when Leonard says, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” when in reality a sweet vinegar like Balsamic or apple vinegar will catch flies at a much more substantiated rate than a bowl of honey… now if we were trying to catch ants or bears maybe that’d be a different story, but I’ve not done the science to say one way or the other there.
Man I get off topic easily.
So at the end of the show a Chuck Lorre Vanity Card will flash on the screen. It’s so quick that anyone watching it live would be unable to read it unless they had an eidetic memory. I don’t have such a great memory, but I do have hi-def downloads, so sometimes the best part of the show for me is reading these “vanity cards.”
I’ve enjoyed them so much that I’m copying the idea which now that I think about it could get me in trouble if the concept is protected by some legal means. So I’ll take the idea and rename it “Genki Cards.”
The before mentioned “vanity cards” which I will on the record say no longer have any connection to me or my blog, are simple little anecdotes, often humorous, some times no longer than a sentence, and have no real connection to any else in the whole wide world.
I don’t often update this blog, because for me writing is a bit of endeavor. Any time I start writing, even if I have a plan laid out, I will notice little paths trailing away from my original purpose. I almost always explore these, because you never know what might be there. Unfortunately this means that often times my entries are long and convoluted and require me to cut and patch back together. A lot of times I lose interest or get distracted by food, beer, a game, or boobs, so there’s any number of unfinished items that are on my hard drive that I’ve forgotten all about.
In the interest of keeping my blog updated I will write these Genki Cards on occasion. When I don’t feel like writing about anything else…